Not the Pizza Guy
by Justsome1
Summary: What happens during the suspension. Broken rules- unexpected guests- ice cream ideas- sympathy for the neighbors- socks and ceiling fans. One shot.


**Athors Note: This is an idea I came up with a while back and I couldn't get out of my head so I decided to write it down. One shot. Takes place during Sam and Andy's suspension. They have the no contact rule but they decide not to listen to it. I realize that in the show the definitely would listen to the rule and I would be upset if they didn't but, like I said I couldn't get this out of my head.**

* * *

><p>They lay in bed- lost in their own thoughts after one of many physically exhausting activities they had been up to in the days following their suspension.<p>

Sam's stomach started to grumble. Andy giggled as she looked over at the clock which sat on her bedside table; it read 6:00pm. "ohmigod! Sam!"

He was worried, "what is it?"

"It's six o'clock! We've been in bed all day!"

He laughed, "I didn't hear you complaining. Quite the opposite actu-"

"-Sam!" she cut him off. They were both laughing.

"We haven't eaten since last night, I'm starving and judging by the atrocious noise your stomach just made I'm guessing you are too... c'mon" she said as she pulled his hand forcing him to get off the bed. She put on his black t-shirt and man he loved when she wore his clothes.

He searched for his boxers but couldn't find them so he eventually gave up and went to follow her.

He found them on the lamp in the living room in passing. This made him laugh because well he would have never thought Andy would be as well… y'know, in bed (not that he thought about it before- really… he didn't)

He pulled them on meeting her just as she was getting a glass of water from the tap.

"Andy I'd love to eat but..." she cut him off before he could Finnish, "Sam it's just a few minutes; your gunna need the energy; I plan on wearing you out"

"No Andy but..."

She cut him off again, "Sam I hate to tell ya, but you're not a real young guy, you're gunna need food if you wana keep up." she looked at his insulted face and winked as she opened the fridge.

It was empty.

"I was actually trying to tell you that we ran out of food yesterday and we were gunna go to the grocery store sometime today. I guess, y'know, we got a little sidetracked... But uh, calling me old, low blow McNally... real nice."

"Oops" was all she could squeak out. She knew he was mad because he called her by her last name and he had his smiling-but-not-actually-smiling face on, you know, the one that's cross between a sarcastic smile and a grimace.

She started to giggle and wrapped her arms around his waist, she had to do something to make light of the situation.

"Well, I personally enjoy getting _sidetracked_'. So, why don't we just order a pizza" she smiled at him hopefully. His expression hardly softened so she quickly added "that-way-we-don't-have-to-get-dressed," as an afterthought.

He looked to the ceiling and rubbed his neck with his hand as if he was seriously thinking over something. He let out a long sigh.

"Well I don't know its six pm I should probably sneak back into the old folks home before someone notices I'm gone." he said sarcastically with a drag at the end of each word.

She laughed, "Wow, I'm shocked I actually managed to make a dent in that massive ego of yours"

"Hmmm, funny, I seem to remember you using that exact adjective to describe something else last night, only you didn't seem nearly as upset by it" she chuckled in disbelief.

He did NOT just go there, "Wow, really Sam? A penis joke? You're un-believable!"

"Hey! You used that one too... With enthusiasm might I add?"

It was true- what he said… about both things, but still.

Playfully punching him she moved out of his grasp, "Yah? Well from now on you'll be hearing it with disgust" she laughed and walked over to the telephone.

Andy joined Sam on the couch after hanging up the phone, "pizza will be here in half an hour."

He looked at her with a mischievous grin, "Well, half an hour isn't nearly enough time to do what I was planning on doing, but" with emphasis on the 't' ,"I do believe we can think of something to do during the wait" he leaned in and kissed her.

* * *

><p>Twenty or so minutes later there was a knock at the door. The pair had been making out like teenagers on the couch the entire time.<p>

Sam reluctantly pulled away; he nuzzled his nose with hers and breathlessly mumbled, "Pizza's here." Andy was pouting, she pulled him back towards her, "Screw the pizza, we can eat when the suspensions over"

She managed to distract him momentarily, it was crazy how she was able to do that, however eventually he pulled back walking towards the door, grabbing some money off the coffee table on his way, "as you _so rudely_ mentioned before, I'm old and you've been wearing me out- I need food."

She ran up behind him wrapping her arms around his waist, kissing his back, "you're choosing food over your sexy girlfriend?" he covered her arms with his hands, "who said anything about choosing? Can't I have food and my sexy girlfriend?" she giggled into his back as he swung the door open.

Sam was smiling like an idiot with Andy attached to him still kissing his back.

He was ready to grab the pizza, pay and get back to what he was doing as quickly as possible when he realized that it was not the pizza delivery guy at Andy's apartment door. His heart sunk into his stomach and he swallowed the lump in his throat.

There were seven shocked faces on the other side of the door, mouths agape and eyes wide, everyone too shocked to speak.

The same thing was crossing through each of their minds,

'What the hell is a half-naked Swarek doing answering Andy's door when they are under strict orders to have no contact.'

The silence made Andy curious, she giggled, "babe what wrong? Just hurry up and pay so we can get back to-"

She stopped talking when he removed her hands from his stomach.

Somebody cleared their throat.

She looked up over his shoulder, squealed and hid behind the door leaving Sam standing in front of their friends awkwardly in his boxers, one hand on the door knob that was now half open- Andy behind it.

Sam was the first one to speak, "uhhhm... Hey guys, what uh, what are you doing here?"

Nobody knew what to say.

After what felt like an eternity of awkward silence Oliver piped up, "uh, I could ask you the same question buddy"

Everybody was beginning to move past their initial state of shock.

Traci and Gail were at the back of the group trying not to giggle as they appreciatively looked Swarek up and down and I mean who could blame them?

Oliver and Dov were trying not to laugh; as they both found the situation utterly hilarious.

Chris was just horrified and felt awful for Andy- he was really sweet like that.

Jerry was pissed that Sam would do something so stupid… AGAIN.

And Noelle looked like she was stuck in a bad place; she felt like she should tell frank about what she was seeing, but at the same time she didn't want to get her friend in trouble.

Sam didn't know what to say and Andy wasn't being a big help hiding cowardly behind the door.

He looked over at her with an expression which said 'what the hell should I do?' she just shrugged her shoulders earning a disapproving look in response. Oliver once again cleared his throat, interrupting their wordless conversation.

Andy spoke from behind the door, "can you guys just give us a minute- place is a mess"

Sam turned his head to see her again- eyebrows lost in his hairline, his expression said, 'seriously that's what you came up with'

"Yeah, you guys should probably find some clothes while you're at it. I personally find it difficult to talk to Sammy in this state of undress" the group tried to muffle their laughs.

Most people in that situation would have felt even more uncomfortable but, Sam is not most people.

"What's the matter Ollie? I make you nervous? Getting all tongue tied? That's cute, I'm flattered."

Everybody burst into laughter. Sam gave him a smug grin, "hang on" he shut the door.

McNally's eyes were bulging out of her head, it reminded Sam of the cartoons he watched when he was a kid, "We're screwed" all he managed to say back was "ya think?" before he and Andy began running around the house trying the find something to wear.

Sam saw the pant leg from his jeans peeking out from under the couch.

He was bouncing on one leg around the room as he put the other in the pants while trying to find his other clothes. He managed to knock some books off her book shelf in his efforts.

"Andy I can't find my shirt anywhere!" Anybody witnessing the two of them running around like idiots frantically looking for everything would be toppled over laughing.

"That's cuz I'm wearing it! Hang on!"

He was on his way to the bedroom when he caught sight of one if his socks hanging off of the flat screen mounted on the wall.

"Seriously Andy, I know we were in a hurry to take this stuff off but I just found my sock on the TV, my pants under the couch and earlier my boxers were hanging off the lamp! This is ridiculous!"

She was laughing when she met him fully clothed in the hallway and handed him his shirt.

She was checking him out head to toe when she noticed something, "where's your other sock?"

He shook his head "I don't know. I checked everywhere aside from the kitchen, but It wouldn't be in there"

"no it might actually," he knitted his eyebrows together "'member you had that dumb ice cream idea?"

"Ooh right, right..." he smiled and looked at her seductively, "don't lie, you loved that idea." He was right- she did.

The two of them were now searching in the kitchen, picking up Andy's discarded clothes as they went.

Sam was laughing

"What is it?"

"Andy, how'd your bra get on top of the fridge!"

She snatched it out of his hands, "I don't know but we gotta hurry up they've been out there for a while... you don't need you other sock, just take that one off so they don't notice."

She handed him everything they collected and sent him to put it in her room while she went to the door to invite everyone in.

"Hey sorry about that c'mon in" (this was humiliating)

They all had these dumb grins on their faces; unwilling to bring up the awkward situation again, Andy brushed it off assuming it was about catching Sam in his boxers at her house.

Everybody took a seat in the living while Andy was getting drinks. Their eyes were darting all over the room, clearly looking for something when Sam returned.

Noelle elbowed Oliver who was on the couch next to her- she nodded her head in the direction of the ceiling fan. They both burst into laughter causing everyone in the room to look at them in question.

"What the hell are you two laughing at?"

"Oh nothing important Sammy, just found the sock you and McNally were looking for while we were waiting outside," being the ass that he was, he continued throwing Andy's words form her and Sam's earlier conversation back at them, "but it's ok, you don't need it 'member, you took the other one off so we wouldn't notice!" He was now pointing to the ceiling fan laughing hysterically everyone else following suit.

As if they weren't already embarrassed enough, they now knew that everybody heard the entire conversation they had while frantically looking for their clothing.

When the laughter died down a bit Noelle finally managed to say what she had trying to since she noticed the sock, "Pay up!"

"What do you mean Oliver found it?"

"Nah Dov, unfortunately Noelle beet me to it, didn't think to look at the ceiling, though I'm not surprised" he looked at Andy, "the fridge, really?"

Everyone was laughing again. It was incredible how he managed to make jokes out of other people's misery.

Andy's cheeks burned with embarrassment she had never been more embarrassed.

Sam was mad, "What are you guys talking about?"

"Well brother this apartment isn't exactly sound proof"

Dov added silently, "I feel bad for the neighbours" receiving a glare from Swarek.

_*Flashback* _

_-On the outside of the door-_

_Jerry was disgusted, "to think those two learned their lesson." _

_Traci dug her elbow into his side, "Jerry!" and shot him a disapproving look._

_Noelle spoke now, "no he's right, I mean these two did the dance for two years! Two weeks shouldn't be so hard." _

_Oliver was just about to give his opinion when they heard a bang. _

_"Shhh, did you hear that?" Dov put his ear to the door. They were all silently listening when they heard Sam say __"_Andy I can't find my shirt anywhere!"_ they snickered. _

_"_That's cuz I'm wearing it! Hang on!"

_Dov was about to comment -most likely something perverse- when Sam spoke again,_

_"_Seriously Andy, I know we were in a hurry to take this stuff off but I just found my sock on the TV, my pants under the couch and earlier my boxers were hanging off the lamp! This is ridiculous!"

_Jerry spoke in a hushed tone, "What the hell went on in there?" scared expressions were shot amongst the group when they heard Andy speak again, __"_where's your other sock?"

"I don't know. I checked everywhere aside from the kitchen, but It wouldn't be in there"

"No it might actually, 'member you had that dumb ice cream idea?"

_They were all shocked (which they really shouldn't have been considering the other things they witnessed since they arrived.) "Ice cream thing? Rock and roll McNally!" _

_"Shhh Dov shut up I missed what Swarek just said!" Gail being snarky was not what shocked everyone, but she seemed way to interested (secretly they all were) _

_Chris scrunched his nose, "he said don't lie, you loved that idea." _

_Sam was laughing_

_"_What is it?"

_"_Andy how'd your bra get on top of the fridge!"

_They all muffled a laugh __"_I don't know but we gotta hurry up they've been out there for a while... you don't need you other sock, just take that one off so they don't notice."

_"Hey, twenty bucks says I find Sammy's missing sock!"_

_"No way man I'm a detective; I'm trained to find things that are out of place" _

_"C'mon Jerry it's not 'where's Waldo' I got this in the bag!" _

_"Sure, sure, anyone else want in?" _

_Everyone agreed, "So, a hundred and twenty bucks to whoever spots Sammy's sock! Easy enough!" _

_*End of flash back** _

The room was silent. Everyone was looking expectantly at Sam and Andy waiting for one of them to get mad. They looked at each other- in that moment there was nothing left to do but laugh, and so they did a long with everybody else.

* * *

><p><strong>This is my first and probably my last fanfic so I apologize if you don't like it. I'm clearly not a writer nor do I plan on becoming one so I apologize for any technical mistakes :p I just had to get this story out.<strong>

**Also for any grammatical errors or spelling ,mistakes- I wrote this on my iPad in the note app so there may even be words swapped in the wrong spot. Darn autocorrect**


End file.
